There are not many feelings in the world that can compare with feeling loved. When you feel loved, you are completely secure. But you know what I’ve been realizing recently? That being understood…TRULY understood by another human being is definitely a close second. When you’re understood by someone else, not only are you totally secure, but you also can let down your guard.
And what else is friendship really about?
I have got some of the best friends in the whole entire world. I just had a beautiful evening with one of them. We drove, we browsed through formal dresses at Lord & Taylor, we laughed about things that no one else would find even remotely funny, we sat down to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and had one of the most refreshingly honest chats we’ve had in a long while…
Anyhow, both of us had a huge revelation as our conversation unfolded. And simple though it is, it is so true! Here it is: everyone wants to be loved and understood. Simple as that. And we’ll take it one step further. Not only do people want to be loved and understood…they want to HEAR that they are. Everyone needs to be reminded of these things now and again. Even the friend you think is the most confident and loved person on the planet needs to hear it from time to time.
There are certain things we tell ourselves in our head.
I am loved. I am accepted. People like me. We tell ourselves these things because it is too easy for the world or for our insecurities to tell us otherwise. “Nobody likes you. You’re too complicated to understand. Who would love you?” But the thing is, sometimes it is really refreshing to be reminded by someone outside of our head. Words hold so much power.
And the world was created.
A few weeks ago I had a breakdown in front of two of my best friends. I cried as I told them how I didn’t feel like I was really welcome with my group of friends at home. Especially after being gone in Africa for 6 months with little contact with them…I was feeling insecure and unsure about how they felt about me. My friends (amazing they are) pulled me aside, told me to stop talking, and proceeded to reaffirm me. Rachel, you are never imposing on us. We are your friends, we LOVE you. We are blessed to have you. Stuff that should be a “given”, right? Of course, if they’re my friends, then they love me, and I’m a blessing to them. But in my own head, I’d made up my own version of reality. I was bothersome to them, I was awkward, I no longer FIT in. They’d moved on without me.
Since that late-night chat, I’ve had a few recurring incidents of insecurity. But now it’s much easier to see the truth and believe it. I literally hear their voices in my head telling me that they love me. That I am indeed a blessing to them. It’s not just them that bless me…it’s reciprocated. I don’t know if you’re anything like me… but if you’re human you probably have felt like this before. Be honest. : )
The words we speak make a difference. A world of difference. They shape us, they make us who we are. They shape other people too, and make them who they are. Be careful the voices to which you choose to listen. Hear something enough…and it will become reality. Be careful the words you speak. Speak it enough, and reality is created.
If you love someone, please tell them. They may know it, they may have forgotten though, and it never hurts to be reminded that you are loved.
May you create beauty by the words you speak today. May you know how much you are loved. And if you do not yet know the One who loves and understands you infinitely…then may you come to know Him and that wonderful love.